TQA

Three years of knowing you, feels like there is still a lot to know. Three years I stay next to you, sometimes I get sick, but most of the time I love it. I personally believe that you are my other half, if only there is a guy version of you. Wherever you go, just turn your head back to me, smile and say “Everything is good and great for me, don’t you worry”. You’re always like a stepmother to me, but the best boyfriend I have ever had. People will slowly get to know and see how you really are, just the way I did. They will love your personality in silence. Nurture your good and kind heart; don’t give people the wrong signal, because you know how people easily misjudged you. All those crying moments with you, the big arguments we had, the night outs we spent, the sleepovers, walking to class and came back to hostel and most importantly, the happy, insane laughs we both shared. I remember you will keep babbling if I ever get sick and always bring me fresh lime whenever I’m having a sore throat. God knows how lazy you are and you wont simply do it to people, but you did it to me. All the time. I remember, rushing my way back from KL to Segamat, just because you called and cried saying something bad happened to you. We walked around UiTM, I made you laughed again and I swear, that is the best feelings. About the arguments, well let us not get into the topic. Just remember, when the whole world is going against you, I’m here. 

I just can't stop thinking about this

I’m feeling way too fresh right now that it has stopped me from feeling sleepy. Everyone should have taken a midnight bath cause it can truly makes you feel like you’re new. And are those rumors about getting a late or midnight bath are true? Seriously, I never believed it since the first time I’ve been told so. I really enjoyed late night bath. You never feel fresher when you took one before you sleep. Hey, I should suggest that everyone take a bath every time you sleep. It’ll make you feel more confident for yourself, and you will feel just great. Plus, its kinda an advantage for me as sometimes I don’t take my bath if I’m way too late for morning classes. The truth fact is, your body still feel fresh in the morning if you took a midnight bath. The things that smells is only your mouth and face. Just make a quick wash of it, and poof! You’re ready for classes.

Its just the simple big gesture I wanted you to make. I don’t ask you to buy me things, jewels or good stuffs. I just wanted you to at least show a little gratitude to me, cause I often felt that I’m never special enough to you. That you have no interest at all to me. That I am someone who you can never feel proud with. I am a person who is having a low-self-esteem-problem-when-it-comes-to-the-man-I-love. Lets make a quick check lists:

1.       Are you a beauty?                                                                                                                       

    NO

2.       Are you slim, slender or sexy?                                                                                         

    NO

3.       Do you have a hot physical appearance?                                                                                              

    NO

4.       Do you play games?                                                                                                                 

    NO

5.       Do you like football?                                                                                                                      

    NO

6.       Do you think that he thinks you are beautiful?                                                                

    NO

7.       Do you think that he just wanna have fun with you?                                                     

    MAYBE

8.       Does he proud of having you as his girlfriend?                                                                   

    NO, IDTS

9.       Does he have a lot of scandals?                                                                                                

    YES, I THINK

10.   Do you think that he has other funnier, beautiful, charming, intelligent person?      

    MAYBE

11.   Will he like me if I’m fat?                                                                                                       

    NO

12.   Does he like me?                                                                                                       

    IDK

13.   Does he really mean it when he said ily or imy ?                                                              

    IDK

14.   Do you love him?                                                                                                                           

    YES

15.   Do you find yourself always saying the wrong things when you’re having a conversation with him?                                                                                                                                                        YES

16.   Do you think that you’re physically attractive?                                                       

    NO

17.   Do you think that you have all he needs?                                                                  

    NO

From the quick check list that I did above, I scored 10 NO, 3 YES and the rest is unsure feeling. Can you see how low my self-esteem is?

happening

I really abandon my blog for quite some time eh? sometimes I just open it to read posts from other blogs. what happened to mine? where is your enthusiasm on writing things? where is the spirit? I haven't seen in like months. you're definitely losing yourself bit by bit.

TERHARU, YA AKU TERHARU

Aku tidak pernah menyangkakan bahawa ada orang yang menghargai dan menyukai tulisan dan nukilan aku di blog ini. aku sendiri merahsiakan identitiku di sini kerana, aku rasa biarlah begini. aku rasa aku lebih selesa senyap begini. aku rasa lebih tenang. perasaan damai yang aku alami kala menulis tanpa diperhatikan, tanpa diketahui siapa gerangan penulisnya. mungkin antara kalian ada yang terus meninggalkan laman aku kerana perkataan dan perenggan yang panjang. tidak semua menyukai tulisan yang panjang-panjang, tetapi tidak bagi aku. tulisan yang panjang itu mampu memberikan pandangan yang lebih mendalam dan tersusun dan juga terperinci. keseronokkan yang aku rasai apabila kau tahu ada orang yang telah bertandang ke laman kau berdasarkan jejakan yang diperolehi itu.


and I believe that I should have said thank you to those who reads my words. and to those who can finish it, MASEL TOV!

IT'S A ROUND THING

I'm still recovering from my trauma towards loaning money from best friends. Never will I forget what she had said to me.