I just can't stop thinking about this

I’m feeling way too fresh right now that it has stopped me from feeling sleepy. Everyone should have taken a midnight bath cause it can truly makes you feel like you’re new. And are those rumors about getting a late or midnight bath are true? Seriously, I never believed it since the first time I’ve been told so. I really enjoyed late night bath. You never feel fresher when you took one before you sleep. Hey, I should suggest that everyone take a bath every time you sleep. It’ll make you feel more confident for yourself, and you will feel just great. Plus, its kinda an advantage for me as sometimes I don’t take my bath if I’m way too late for morning classes. The truth fact is, your body still feel fresh in the morning if you took a midnight bath. The things that smells is only your mouth and face. Just make a quick wash of it, and poof! You’re ready for classes.

Its just the simple big gesture I wanted you to make. I don’t ask you to buy me things, jewels or good stuffs. I just wanted you to at least show a little gratitude to me, cause I often felt that I’m never special enough to you. That you have no interest at all to me. That I am someone who you can never feel proud with. I am a person who is having a low-self-esteem-problem-when-it-comes-to-the-man-I-love. Lets make a quick check lists:

1.       Are you a beauty?                                                                                                                       

    NO

2.       Are you slim, slender or sexy?                                                                                         

    NO

3.       Do you have a hot physical appearance?                                                                                              

    NO

4.       Do you play games?                                                                                                                 

    NO

5.       Do you like football?                                                                                                                      

    NO

6.       Do you think that he thinks you are beautiful?                                                                

    NO

7.       Do you think that he just wanna have fun with you?                                                     

    MAYBE

8.       Does he proud of having you as his girlfriend?                                                                   

    NO, IDTS

9.       Does he have a lot of scandals?                                                                                                

    YES, I THINK

10.   Do you think that he has other funnier, beautiful, charming, intelligent person?      

    MAYBE

11.   Will he like me if I’m fat?                                                                                                       

    NO

12.   Does he like me?                                                                                                       

    IDK

13.   Does he really mean it when he said ily or imy ?                                                              

    IDK

14.   Do you love him?                                                                                                                           

    YES

15.   Do you find yourself always saying the wrong things when you’re having a conversation with him?                                                                                                                                                        YES

16.   Do you think that you’re physically attractive?                                                       

    NO

17.   Do you think that you have all he needs?                                                                  

    NO

From the quick check list that I did above, I scored 10 NO, 3 YES and the rest is unsure feeling. Can you see how low my self-esteem is?

happening

I really abandon my blog for quite some time eh? sometimes I just open it to read posts from other blogs. what happened to mine? where is your enthusiasm on writing things? where is the spirit? I haven't seen in like months. you're definitely losing yourself bit by bit.

TERHARU, YA AKU TERHARU

Aku tidak pernah menyangkakan bahawa ada orang yang menghargai dan menyukai tulisan dan nukilan aku di blog ini. aku sendiri merahsiakan identitiku di sini kerana, aku rasa biarlah begini. aku rasa aku lebih selesa senyap begini. aku rasa lebih tenang. perasaan damai yang aku alami kala menulis tanpa diperhatikan, tanpa diketahui siapa gerangan penulisnya. mungkin antara kalian ada yang terus meninggalkan laman aku kerana perkataan dan perenggan yang panjang. tidak semua menyukai tulisan yang panjang-panjang, tetapi tidak bagi aku. tulisan yang panjang itu mampu memberikan pandangan yang lebih mendalam dan tersusun dan juga terperinci. keseronokkan yang aku rasai apabila kau tahu ada orang yang telah bertandang ke laman kau berdasarkan jejakan yang diperolehi itu.


and I believe that I should have said thank you to those who reads my words. and to those who can finish it, MASEL TOV!

IT'S A ROUND THING

I'm still recovering from my trauma towards loaning money from best friends. Never will I forget what she had said to me.

WISHING UPON AN OCCUPYING

The drum keeps rolling, the hands keep shaking, the head keeps spinning, the mouth keeps watering, the eyes are fading, the muscles burdened with stress, the neck is getting a rest, the heartbeat feels the cold, the body is having a cold, she feels the dark side of her is conquering and torturing her. The dark seems stronger than before. Wonder where the hell it went wrong.

The best mate she thought was hers is not really hers. She thinks that the best mate is only taking advantages on her. Yes, she is bright, talented and active. She shows naïve-ness just to keep people shut their mouth. She shows something that ain’t her at all. She’s splitting everywhere. She has not yet found her true self. She knows that.

She’s always high when she didn’t occupy the spaces that needed to be occupied. The eyes are closing again. It’s too heavy. No, no, no, she’s not on drugs, alcohol or smoke. She’s hungry.